Enjoy, and if you have any to add......please email them to jimskeans@jimskeans.com and we will add them to the list.

Alpha Geek

 The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in the dealership

 

Android

 Think iPhone but with a slightly different interface on phones from Samsung to HTC and with the ability for anyone to make applications for it

 

Attention spam

 A condition resulting in a failure to process basic facts or comprehend common knowledge, due largely to having a mind full of useless information

 

Backseat surfer

 A person who stands over your shoulder as you use the internet, directing your internet navigation

 

Bandwidth

 Ability to handle an excessive number of jobs at the same time

 

BiPodding

 Sharing a single set of headphones attached to one iPod. One person holds the iPod and takes the left, the other takes the right

 

Bluetool

 A person who wears a bluetooth wireless earpiece everywhere they go to seem trendy and important

 

Clicktease

 A website or website link which leads you to believe you will be seeing pornography or some other sexual material, when in fact this offer is false or misleading

 

Cobweb

Website that hasn’t been updated in a long, long time

 

Collateral misinformation

When someone alters a Wikipedia article to win a specific argument, anyone who reads the false article before the "error" is corrected suffers from collateral misinformation

 

CRT

 Cathrode ray tube. Flat is the new thin so get with the times and relegate your Fat TV to the recycling bin. You'll gain some desk real estate too

 

Cube Farm

 An office packed with cubicles full of busy workers

 

 

 

Cyberchondriac

Someone who imagines they have a disease because their symptoms match those listed on a health website

 

Dial-up

 Way not broadband so throw that 56k modem into the recycling bin

 

Doorstop

 A computer no longer considered fast enough and only useful for keeping doors open, dial-up modems are too small and light

 

Dotcomrade

 An Internet acquaintance; someone you chat with but have never actually met

 

DVB-H

 Newly announced Mobile TV standard for Europe that allows you to watch TV on your mobile on the go, I know, I know, I feel the same way, email your favorite government representative

 

Elationship

 Relationship conducted, exclusively, online

 

Facebookable

 Content considered appropriate enough to be viewed by the general public of the facebook community i.e friends/significant others/family/coworkers without having to worry about explaining a sketchy situation

 

FAQ

 Frequently asked questions, the list is never long enough!

 

Fleshmeet

 A rare meeting in the flesh, especially for people who usually only chat on the net

 

Floppy disk

 Replaced by USB drives and CDs the idea of only being able to get 1.4MB on a disk would now seems ridiculous to the average pre-teen

 

Freaknob

From the combination of freak and knob, this term is used to define the level of a person's weirdness

 

Fuel-cell

 New type of environmentally friendly battery which uses methanol and could replace lithium-ion cells

 

Googling

 Using Google's search engine. Google has become the internet's de-facto search engine

 

 

 

HD DVD

Just like Betamax, HD DVD is now the dead format against Sony's Blu-ray in the HD disc battle when it comes to high-def movies

 

HDMI

 The new Scart lead allows you to connect High-Def devices together, like your TV to your new Blu-ray player

 

Hits

 How website popularity used to be measured before people realise that unique visitors is what's important

 

HSDPA

 High-Speed Downlink Packet Access - the new 3G software which supposedly makes the internet on your phone as quick as broadband, which of course all depends on the speed of your current broadband

 

Infoporn

 Information that serves no purpose and consumes valuable space in your head

 

Internot

 Someone who refuses to use the internet

 

KB

 Acronym for Kilobytes and important when computer memory was a teeny 64k, currently Terabyte is the only way to go

 

Keyboard plaque

 Disgusting build-up of dirt on keyboards, you thought we didn’t notice?

 

Leet

(written 31337, 1337, L337, 1337z0r, 13370rz, and l33t), or Leetspeak, used primarily on the Internet, uses various combinations of ASCII characters to replace Latinate letters. The term is derived from the word "elite", and the usage it describes is a specialized form of symbolic writing. Different dialects of leet are found on different online forums

 

LMAO

 Laughing my arse off

 

LOL

 Laugh out loud

 

Macarena Page

A web page which is usually full of fluff and has a short life expectancy

 

Mashup

Take two or more really interesting elements from different websites or applications and make them into one - think Google Maps with an overlay of where you can buy clown outfits from

 

Media Stacking

 Juggling a number of media at once, as in watching TV while chatting to friends on your laptop and downloading new tunes on your iPod, hey isn’t that what technology for?

 

MiniDisc

 Sony's now defunct music format that was like the CD only smaller, swept aside by MP3 before it even got going, yes I have one

 

Mouse Potato

 The online generation's equivalent to the couch potato, you know who you are

 

NFI

 No f****** idea

 

NOOB

 Pronounced "newbie" - Person who is new to something, “green pea” to you

 

OLED

 Organic LEDs that use up less electricity because they don't have to be backlit, look for them on your new mp3 player or cell phone

 

OMG

 Oh my god! Usually verbalized after opening the envelope containing your current DMS billings

 

Open Collar Worker

Person who work from home

 

PDA

 Personal Data Assistant. Pocket-sized computer

 

Plug and Play

A new worker who needs no training and can get started at once

 

Pornucopia

 An over-abundance of pornography

 

Pr0n

 Pornography

 

PVR

 Personal Video Recorder, usually contains a built-in hard disk

RFID

 Radio-frequency identification (RFID) will allow you to track your packages around the world or let you know how your bananas have travelled to you

 

RickRoll

 To intentionally misdirect internet users to a video of "Never Gonna Give You Up" by 80s one-hit-wonder Rick Astley

 

ROFL

 Roll on floor laughing

 

RTFM

 Read the f***ing manual as in don't ask silly questions before trying to find the answer yourself

 

Screenager

A young person who has grown up with, and is comfortable with, a world of screens, TVs, computers, ATMs and mobile phones, game machines, etc

 

Shocklog

 A weblog intended to shock. The term was coined to describe a number of Dutch websites that have specialized in presenting shocking, irritating or "irresponsible" material. Shocklogs have become enormously popular in the Netherlands.

 

Super Audio CD

 A higher quality CD format that never really took off. Why? Because you needed state of the art expensive kit to run it on and there aren't enough audiophiles out there that care!

 

Technolust

 The constant desire to have the newest, flashiest, fastest, shiniest gadget available, even if the one you just bought is only two months old and still works

 

Text support

 Advice, encouragement delivered via text... frequently related to dating and boss hating. Pronounced like tech support

 

Timeboxing

 Putting aside a particular slot to get a job done, eg "What’s the timebox for this report?"

 

Tri-band

 Replaced by quad-band, 3G, or HSDPA to allow much better phone coverage so that you may take business calls at dinner in most places in the world

 

TTYL

 Talk to you later

Uber

 The ultimate, above all, the best, top, something that nothing is better than, as in you the Uber manager

 

UGC

 User generated content. Flickr, Facebook, reader reviews, YouTube all rely on the reader generating content on the sites

 

VHS

 DVD players are so cheap and PVRs are so easy to use that the movie format that would take you 10 minutes to rewind after watching a film is dead

 

Web shy

 Unwillingness to expose one's thoughts, feelings or identity on the web, knowing that doing so means freaknobs from Baton Rouge to Bangladesh will know everything about you.

 

Wiiware

 Software for the Nintendo Wii games console

 

Wikidemia

 An academic work passed off as scholarly yet researched entirely on Wikipedia

 

Wimax

 Supersized Wi-Fi will give whole cities internet coverage, Milton Keynes already has it

 

WTF

 What the f***?